Don't panic.
I do like how they manage to blow it out of proportion with the graphic, but really, until we have better info, now's not the time to panic. It would be awfully hard to keep a panic like that going for 17 years.

I have great respect for bears
This is especially true after the last trip to Alaska, where one Kodiak went right under me as my legs hung over the decking, and the big guy just rubbed against one of them and passed along. Still, I look at this and go, the hell?

We're basically killing off PBS' Mystery! program at this point.
Rumpole: Dead. Earlier this year, Morse: Dead. If I were David Suchet, I'd watch my back.

Okay, we know you're going to do it, let's just be honest about the sources you're ripping off. In addition to ripping off Lipton, you are ripping off: The Real World, Survivor, Big Brother, Celebrity Jeopardy!, parodies of Celebrity Jeopardy!, the Osbournes, and The Oregon Lottery. I don't know if it's a step above or below Celebrity Boxing. But I just love how Mr. T. is now some sort of K-T boundary in the celebrity strata.

"I don't care that it's unwise medically. I'm not going to watch it bleed."
I see a long infomercial career ahead of John Daly.

And now: a jokes too obscure even for me. The story
Somewhere out there there's a thetan-infested talking koala who told him to do this.

I know, the more I talk about it, the more I'm just encouraging them.
More SupHerBowl preparations.

If you thought the Fox puck was annoying...
Interestingly, we actually got to see a FoxTrack puck while at the Naismith Museum. This, however, just looks like another way to anger the purists while not impressing the South about hockey.