Okay, "News" proposition odds, brought to you, as always, by Kidder's House of Wacky Prop Bets.

Odds of strange blueness on Jupiter being tied to findings of water on Mars: 4000:1
Odds of probe of NASA after the water announcement suspiciously misses window of Long John Silver's "find water on Mars get free giant shrimp" offer: 50:1
Odds that stories of giant Stalinist crabs invading Europe prompt a probe of the communist ties of Red Lobster: 200:1
Odds that scientists will take the lawsuits and research into Popcorn Packer's Lung, and turn it into a weapon capable of both defeating the Red Crab Menace, and rendering them perfectly seasoned: 10:1
Odds of Olbermann uttering the phrase "Mmm...artificial butter vapors." during tonight's Countdown: 1:9