Hip deep in the subtext again.
Forgot to note that Pennsylvania got dragged kicking and screaming into the 20th century last Sunday, as now 65 liquor stores in the state are allowed to sell on Sunday. It wasn't easy to pull this off, since the primary mover against it wasn't the expected religious objection, it was the state employees who would now be forced to work Sundays.

S'anyway, the new ads that ESPNRadio is running on their internet feed have to be the saddest, most ham-handed, point-obscured, piles of advertising tripe this side of ads for the Pennsylvania Lottery. The two that are the worst are:

1. An ad where a woman calls up the "Art Deprivation hotline", worried that her child has apparently begun convulsing. (If you read that sentence again, you'll see where I'm going with this). Apparently her child was just all normal and then... The guy on the other end of the line hears some cheesy pseudo-80's music in the background and asks the woman if her child might be dancing. NO! she screams, she knows dancing and THAT's not dancing.
Okay, lets blow this sucker up. First of all, if the point of the ad, as their tag line implies is to get kids involved in the arts at an early age, they leave two hanging curves: Is the mother unable to recognize dancing and thus deprived of the arts herself, or is it that the child is so deprived that she dances like an idiot? If it's the former, how is the woman able to recognize to call the ART DEPRIVATION HOTLINE, and then not recognize art deprivation. If it's the latter, this organization would be better served calling itself "Citizens for Funk" and be done with it. Much better ad:
"Hello, did you know that three out of ten people in America today cannot get down. And another two in ten are unable to get funky below their waist. For these funk-impaired and funkapalegic, there is hope..."

2. Meanwhile another ad opens with this word picture of a guy making a terrific drive down the fairway. After telling this story it jarringly shifts to tell us that "Only you're not on the fairway, you're daydreaming in the cart. You can't move because you didn't have your seatbelt on." Outside of the fact the verbal jumpcut just confuses the average listener, there's this image I keep getting from this ad. Who exactly is the cruel bastard who's dragging this guy out on the course and leaving him in the cart while they play 18 holes? Why don't we just openly taunt our obviously remorseful friend?