Apparently Steve Blass' attack of his namesake disease has degenerated even further. Now he's unable to reach opposing cities. So for this year they are looking for a replacement for Blass on the Pirates road coverage. While I'm pretty ambivalent about most of the original possibles, from the final four selected, I've really got some issues. While Mike Lavalliere was my favorite Pirate from that era, (short, fat guys have each other's back) I don't know if his first color job should be in the majors. That pretty much leaves me with Kent Tekulve, who at least did an earlier stretch with the Phillies, and IIRC, their minors. What I can't deal with is the option of John Wehner, who basically milked being Pittsburgh's own John Wehner for about two seasons too long. (Best reference I've ever heard about him: Lloyd and Paul Waner were Pirate hall of famers nicknamed Big and Little Poison. As a result we have given John Wehner a similar nickname: Slow-Acting Poison.) And as for the final option, Sid Bream, I have to think that that's just a bad idea. Or perhaps it's a new method to appeal to a new generation of fans... by driving EVERY OTHER GENERATION OF PIRATE FANS TO SUICIDE, BIT BY EXCRUCIATING BIT.

Greg Brown: "Ah, you slid that one past us, Sid. Remember, folks, Sunday is Cutlass Day, all fans 13 and over get an authentic Pirate Cutlass, brought to you by Henckels Cutlery. Remember, you want to do it...with Henckels. And on the next homestand, Mrs. Al Martin Bobblehead night, collect the set."**

** Yes, I am ticked at Greg Brown, but I'm more ticked at the Cubs for not taking the jagoff off our hands.