Well, now that the little dance is over, I think it's time to put the Pete Rose issue to rest, by which I mean, he's now admitted that he's bet on baseball, so we now have every reason to permanently ban him without hope of reinstatement. I recognize that this feels like part of a very awkward plea agreement, but I'm secretly hoping that Bud Selig continues to show utter deceitfulness, and uses this as a club to nail him. I realize exactly how hardline I'm being about this, but frankly Pete did it to himself, he was nailed dead to rights, and admitting it does nothing to correct the problem.


And now, some more things that are important to know.

Do not attempt to defraud grizzlies. That's important to know.
For those of you that missed it the first time, this guy was noteworthy for also accidentally leaving audio tape behind of his own mauling. I really think, having read this article, that the audio of this contains the bear(s) saying in whatever language the bears have: "Where's the money? You said you'd have the money."

Do not attempt to cut 13 avocados in a row. That's important to know.
I have to say that this is possibly the dumbest lawsuit I've ever seen. Though I really would like some clarification on the whole "dream career as chef in the RAF", does anyone know if the Britain's air force has Britain's elite special forces to be used against French chefs, that having a cut finger would disqualify you from joining (mind you, not a cut-off finger, which would be totally understandable for RAF disqualification, but not this lawsuit). Perhaps he'll be appearing with the Dorito lawsuit guy.

Do not attempt to get married as a lark. That's important to know.
Somebody want to do the photoshop of the Britney marriage, with the Vegas slogan of "what happens here, stays here"? Again, I think this slogan primarily indicates that there's no extradition treaty there.

Do not try to make sense of my memetracker entries. That's important to know.
Culled from memetracker in the past week:
beasley reece
making microwaved pickles
so anyway
philadelphia eagles rocky theme lyrics
time-life doo wop wqed
"SWAT team teddy bear"
women x rugby
s'anyway
fred travalena jesus
Drew Henson
weebil and bob
Barrett Robins


Sadly, I think I'd have achieved some sort of random meme nirvana had one of these actually come in as "beasley reece making microwaved pickles", rather than two separate searches, though a single search of "fred travalena jesus" comes really close, and so does "SWAT team teddy bear" as it included the quotes.