FTPE--name these things that shouldn't be put all in one place...

The fact that is sticking in my head regarding the A-Rod to the Yankees deal is something I saw on ESPNNEWS while flipping channels Sunday. That fact being that with this trade, the Yankees will have 6 of the top 12 individual salaries in Major League Baseball. (IIRC, 1, 2, 6, 8, 11, and 12) The point of this being, having taken a seminar in nuclear engineering, and having worked in the nuclear power industry, I just want to grab Steinbrenner by the turtleneck, and scream: "DON'T YOU REALIZE THERE'S A REASON WE DON'T PUT ALL THE PLUTONIUM IN ONE PLACE?!" So, I'm sitting here waiting for the critical mass. (Or critical Mass., as I figure Theo Epstein has probably blown an artery at this point.) Basically you've got one control rod left in the organization, and that's Torre, and though the conventional wisdom is that he can keep this from going supercritical, we've also never seen the system maxed out like this before. And with George at any time about three losses away from doing his Kim Jong-Il impression, well, it's going to be a nice wild ride.

Sadly, the same thing applies to the Pirates, though in this case I'd be grabbing them by the neck and screaming "DON'T YOU REALIZE THERE'S A REASON WE DON'T PUT ALL THE MANURE IN ONE PLACE?!" Methane builds up, and this one's going to blow. For those of you who haven't seen the Pirate acquisitions list going to Spring Training, allow me to fill you in:

Jason Boyd (racking up the court appearances as we speak)
Chris Stynes
Daryle Ward
Jose Mesa
Chris Singleton
Mark Guthrie
Rick Reed
Orlando Merced
Randall "Corndog" Simon
and pending him actually signing on the dotted line: Raul Mondesi.

GEAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! It's almost as if we collected every guy out there that not only wasn't wanted, but was established as locker room or PR cancer. I truly expect something dire to emerge from this combination this year, though I can't predict what exactly. You know where I'd go with this, but frankly, it's still my team, and I just can't bring myself to call it. At this point, my best hope for the year is that they take clips from Pirates of the Caribbean and play them on Jumbotron. If they do this clip just once in the year, then I will feel justified.

"You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."
"But you have heard of me."