Candy Not Everybody Wants

Two interesting bits on the theme of "Don't you marketing people realize you don't screw with a good notion?"

1. The folks at Life Savers have decided they don't need my money any more. They've decided to trample on history and kick out three of the Five Flavors, not coincidentally the three flavors I really like out of a roll. (The loss of lime is especially bad, because it's the best artificial lime flavor out there, I get a metallic taste from a lot of other ones, but lime Life Savers had it.) I guess I'm down to scouring the crappier vending machines for the Beech-Nut knockoffs. What galls me about this especially is the fact that the replacement flavors, Raspberry, Blackberry and Watermelon, effectively change this from Five Flavors to the old Fancy Fruit assortment. I think they got rid of Fancy Fruits because it wasn't hip enough, and now, it's back. And finally, did we really need both Blackberry and Raspberry, since between them and Cherry, the Watermelon appears to have been forced out of its natural red-pink position and into serving as the green flavor? Just ain't right, people.

2. Hollywood has decided that it's time to remake Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. On the surface, this would be incredibly bad. The second layer of this everlasting gobstopper is a little better, once you contemplate Tim Burton directing Johnny Depp doing this, that at least has a certain perverse charm to it. But ultimately the article takes a very bitter turn. They were actually contemplating Christopher Walken as Wonka... Now that would have been the stroke of mad genius this film needs. Yes, it's stunt casting of the highest order, but just contemplate putting your favorite Walken character tics into that movie. It works, doesn't it? The movie could have been utter crap, but you know Christopher Walken would have utterly riveting to watch doing that role. Someone in Hollywood actually had a touch of genius, and they mess it up. So close, and so far.