Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Why does this merger feel remarkably like two men who can't swim lashing themselves together in the ocean?

I'll just remind you again. Get a bulk eraser now before it becomes illegal, and you become another piece of livestock. And it might not be a bad idea to stock up on pen and pencils, after all they could concievably infringe.

Meanwhile: I just have to note a couple of things here: WATCH released their 10 worst toys for kids.

1. While I'll grant them the possibility of a choking hazard, I've got to say that, were I a parent purchasing something called Pound-A-Ball with included mallet, my primary worry would be actual truth in product naming.

2. Please note where these little beauties are made. Irwin, PA. Not only near me, but a town named for Irwin Mainway!

3. Clearly, like fat chicks, bears do not like being made fun of for wearing party hats, especially if, as it looks like here, they are forced to do so. Thus in their own stuffed passive aggressive way, they bring along unsafe miniature packages...OF DEATH! Also note this toy, with a "teddy bear surprise inside!" Again, it's not good to get on the bad side of teddy bears.

4. Here we see the sawed-off shotgun principle in action: just because you make the switchblade 4 times normal size doesn't suddenly make it safe.

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