Four observations from the Pittsburgh media, retold in the style of the SuperMillionaire phone game.

Rank the following observed statements from the past 48 hours, in order of ludicrousness, starting with the least.

1. Plaxico Burress skipping out on Steelers mini-camp on grounds that it was unfair of the team to hold it then, and then stating that if the Steelers don't understand it, "That's why I'm Plaxico."

2. Fox 53's sweeps tie-in to their programming Tuesday night: "And after 24, follow along as we spend 24 hours in the life of a Pittsburgh zookeeper."

3. On air announcer for ESPNRadio: "And as the league is looking to expand, if the attendance is good for the [exhibition WNBA] game between the Shock and the Lynx, Pittsburgh could be placed high on the list of expansion cities."

4. Subject line in an email from pittsburghpirates.com, announcing a game between Altoona and Erie to be played in Pittsburgh: "Minor League action comes to PNC Park."

[BEEEP]