I'm now convinced the funniest day of the year is last Tuesday. Note that I mean 'last Tuesday' as a relative concept, not July 31. I sort of thought this after vacation, with the joke about Vermont's integration of lunch counters (allowing black bears to sit), calling it a historical day, one that historians far and wide refer to as "last Tuesday". (See, funny. And really "last Tuesday" is the thing that blows it past the "maybe that was slightly offensive, were I a Vermonter" to "oh, that's just completely insane rantings.")

S'anyway... I was reading through this fark thread about National Mustard Day and saw someone promoting something called Bacon Salt. Naturally, I'm intrigued, after all, the power to impart bacon to anything, you know that's really what the superpower of the Baconator should be, not sensing your fear. So reading through the site I find that they've certified this both vegetarian, and kosher. Now I'm pretty sure in olden days, had you made the announcement that you had made a magic powder that makes everything tastes and smells like bacon, and was kosher. The first three words out of the crowd you had assembled would have been "Burn the witch!!" So in describing this at Sunday dinner, I made that observation, it fell dead. so not wanting the line to fall dead, I added "forget olden days, that was probably true until Last Tuesday." Only then did it kill. Last Tuesday. Not so much comedy gold as comedy gold helper.